mahsmaladehubbington:

God now that I think about it

Laughing is really endearing?? Like holy shit if you think about it actually a really weird noise? juST THINK ABOUT… WHAT LAUGHING IS ?? ?? its choppy sounds that you can’t help yourself making because something makes you happy

how fucking cute is that pEOPLE ARE SO CUTE

okay either I am too weirdly jealous of these girls leaving messages on Cute Guy’s FB timeline or I am actually terrible at reading what I was 99% certain were mutual ~feelings~

/throws self off cliff and into the ocean

/floats away off the edge of the world

You know what?

I have spent the past nine months being so anxious around my roommate, anxious at the thought of even being in the same space as her, worried about when I might have to see her and what conversations might result, deliberately taking actions to avoid conversation or to avoid her in general - all because of social anxieties.

And just earlier I came home from a review session, felt somewhat anxious when walking through the door, but then I had an entirely normal conversation with my roommate that must’ve been the most comfortable conversation I’ve had with her. Ever. Maybe it’s because it’s the end of things, but it was just so easy. And I went back to my room and thought, this is what it could’ve been all year.

It wasn’t that. It wasn’t that easy; it was hard as hell, and I didn’t help make it easier for myself or for her. But I can just hope that it’ll be easier next year, and that I can use ALL of my experiences since last August to move forward in the next year. I really hope.　

It hasn’t even hit me that it is almost summer, that this semester - this academic YEAR - is almost over. Technically, I am almost a senior in college!!

Also, do you guys realize how long summer IS?? It is THREE MONTHS. What am I going to be doing for those three months? I’ve been working on a list of stuff to do or to try to work on, so I hope I don’t run into my typical do-nothing-all-day-erry-day rut. But… three months.

orz like I mentioned in a previous post, I’m partly looking forward to summer, because by this point I am sick of this roommate situation and everything it has been; and I’m partly dreading it because I want to be able to see the people I’ve made the acquaintance of this semester over the summer!! (Three months!) But the thing is, I’m close enough to be able to miss them (I think I will, at least) but not close enough to just chat them up at random. Or maybe I just can’t relationships and that would be perfectly okay to do?

I……………. am especially not looking forward to not being able to see Cute Guy for three months and especially to not be able to hear his voice? Because I like it, okay. Like I honestly think I should just toss a slip of paper at him with my number on it at the last exam we have together because everything in my life this semester has been pretty confusing and I don’t know what do, basically. Three months!!

@tokyograndpa and @saffro

Thank you both! ;o; I’ll check that out soon, if I can.

And for anyone else curious: it’s the Rhapsody in Blue segment from Fantasia 2000. c: